Confessions from a group fitness instructor

She gets up on stage, she has been studying her choreography all week, I know this she confidently whispers to herself!

She stands on that stage and stares out at the sea of expectant faces before her, in just three minutes everything she thought she had is gone.

How does this fricken release start? Are my legs wide or together? Do they know I have gone blank, why have I gone blank, why cant I remember?

Breathe damnit breath, relax she silently screams to her racing brain.

With a sudden jolt of clarity, she remembers. I remember she almost screams into the microphone.

How long have I been standing there it must have been five minutes, it’s only 30 seconds, it felt like 30 minutes.

She starts the class, no one is smiling, some look angry. Do they hate this release, do they hate me, or are they just concentrating?

Stop worrying, get back to the moment.

She smiles, she smiles from the inside out, she is on stage she is teaching body balance, she smiles and her whole body relaxes, the movements flow, she is doing what she loves.

One track after the other it seamlessly flows, then bam, deer in highlights what the frick is next, is this the new release or the old one?

Should she stay in deer in headlights pose or would some spirit fingers and interpretive dancing be better? Maybe some running man or sprinkler?

Get it together.

There we go, she is back. She comes back to the moment, if she stuffs up on one side, she will just stuff up on the other – keep it consistent and all that.

She will go back and re-learn, she will do the class next time and it will be perfect.

She continues class, can they see down my top in this pose? She lies down – darn mic belt is in the way, she moves it as daintily as she can, which isn’t very dainty at all.

Sometimes she is energised, excited and free, sometimes she is tired from multiple classes, from learning choreography, from the rest of her busy life.

She forgets her lefts and rights at times, she forgets the names of body parts, she sounds like she is trying to get the class into a giant game of twister.

She has a small class one week, and wonders what she did wrong the week before, she has a big class she feels amazing.

She is touched when she finally realizes what a positive impact she makes on some people’s lives, she is humbled and a little embarrassed when people tell her that class is the highlight of their week.

She is overjoyed that week after week, people come to her class, they are motivated and inspired by her.

Yet still she has her moments of self doubt.

She is not alone, she is human. She is a group fitness instructor, but she also is many many other things…….

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